The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Haw-Hayee
“Sarfaroshi Ki Tamanna abb humarey dil mein hai”.
Faiz Festival was lit up in the smog of Lahore with chants of youngsters, aspiring to shake the foundations of the decrepit old system. What a refreshing change from our current political climate, I thought. Our young people are finally calling for the revolution we need! I went on social media, wanting to laud the passion of the group and their initiative. But the Haww-Hayee Brigade got there first.
Loud, Brash, Ignorant, Elitist. Those kids are atrocious, right? Change and revolutions are not games and playthings for young ones. It’s not like slogans ever did something. The 1940s might beg to differ, but we Pakistanis have never really given thought to charity.
The leader of the group had a leather jacket on also. AND no dupatta! AND SHE WAS A GIRL! Haww-hayee. What do these modern elite liberal feminists think they’re doing? They’re ruining the society. How can they even know what’s good for us poor people? So far removed from reality, so far from rationale.
Also, what I know as a random and moderately educated Pakistani, is definitely more credible than some girl in the leather jacket. How Shameless, Haww-hayye. Don’t her parents control her? Don’t they know communism is bad? Also, where did she get that jacket? Khair. Sanu Ki!
By the way, did you see Mira Sethi? She got married and she did not look like a bride at all! AT ALL! No red dress, no dupatta, I was disgusted. Her poor father had to walk her down the aisle like this. Haww-hayee! I would definitely not do that, I do have some class you know. It’s like girls today don’t know how to be girls. Where is the sharam, the hayaa? And then they say why men harass us.
None of the above-mentioned statements are fictional. They are real, actual statements from trending accounts on social media and people around me. It depresses me and enrages me in equal measures. We don’t even wait for the cover of the book to reveal itself, we judge it as soon as we know it’s female. No matter what a woman does, she is scorned. Whether it is Aimen Khan, who was derided for a lavish and extremely wasteful wedding, even though it was perfectly traditional. Or it was Mira Sethi, who celebrated her wedding with contemporary and minimalist themes and was dubbed modern be-haya.

What we ignore is the background of Brilliant Arooj of Punjab University, who has worked for this moment for many years and deserves to be recognized for more than a few slogans and a leather jacket. We ignore the autonomy of Mira Sethi, of Aimen Khan, of every girl who dares to have an opinion in the world of men. They are their own women, independent from their brothers, fathers, and husbands.
Unfortunately, it is not just the hatred of men we must contend with. The internalized misogyny of Pakistani women is scary. There is nothing damning than a haww-hayee and exclusion form your own gender. Deriding us and ignoring us will not make it better. We are your children, your siblings, your friends. Hear us out, because we are tired of living like this.
Learn to be better, Pakistani People! Do better! Listen Better! You do nothing more than poison your own society with you haww-hayees and your “Sanu Ki”s. Be the country where everyone’s voice is heard lest you become North Korea.
And if you can’t say something helpful. Zip it! It’s 100% free.






















